Everything happens for a reason. What we percieve to be horrible at one time or another, we reflect back on it and see things differently. Every transition period tends not to be enjoyable but we get through those difficulties as we rise to the occasion and become stronger in the process. I hope you heal, I hope you allow yourself to heal. Celebrate his life and always remember. Memories tend to mean everything, they also can help you relive moments believed to be long lost, in another way of course. I haven't had the pleasure to meet you personally yet but I look forward to such a meeting this semester or whenever you happen to come back :)